A place that was mine

When we were told, during our first visit to the house, to go to the place that drew us to it the most I considered going to the ‘cot room’ as I felt quite disturbed when I entered the room. However, I instead found myself walking into the master bedroom, with the intention of sitting in the cupboard, and found Lauren with the intention of doing the same thing. Fortunately, the cupboard was just big enough to fit the two of us. Pearson states that “A place owes its character to the experiences it affords to those who spend time there – to the sights, sounds and indeed smells that constitute ambience” (2010) and, whilst I may not have spent any time in the cupboard in that house before that moment it instantly reminded me of a cupboard in different house, in a different country, that I spent time in as a little girl. The time that I spent in my cupboard and the memories I created there is what connected me to this space.

The house

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Photo belongs to Jozey Wade

I’ve read that “The wardrobe and the cupboard are the house within the house, their doors open onto an ever more private real of intimate things” (Heathcote, 2012) which I think is particularly relevant to the experiences I had with my cupboard. The house that my cupboard belonged to was in my room, only it wasn’t just my room it was my brothers room as well. He didn’t like his bedroom, the wind would blow against the window and he said it sounded like a ghost, he wouldn’t sleep there. So we decided to share a room, we could have swapped but I think I was scared too, I just wouldn’t admit it. I didn’t mind sharing with my brother but even as a small child I had always felt the need for my own space. A place where I could go when something had upset me or when I simply felt the need to be alone, a place in which I could sort through my emotions, a place to call mine. I found that in the cupboard in my bedroom, my brother wasn’t tall enough to reach it, and I could just manage to pull myself into it and pull the door shut. It was my space, in a space that was no longer just mine. This is what the cupboard in the house on west parade reminded me of, and due to the feel of the house I can imagine another small child using it to hide away. A place they could go to cry, to think, to hide, to be angry; just like mine was to me.

Works Cited:

Pearson, Mike (2010) Site-Specific Performance, Basingstokw Palgrave Macmillan

Heathcote, Edwin (2012) The Meaning of Home, London: Francis Lincoln